I couldn't wait to read this book. I'm a girl, lots of my friends are girls and an increasing number of them have daughters. I also have the privilage of being an aunt to two wonderful nieces ages 6 & 7. I never thought much about the "princess" culture or the "pink, sparkle, shine" culture. For me it's fun. I get to sprinkle glitter, play with Barbies and pretend to be a fairy. Then I go back to the less fun parts of my life work, laundry, etc. I want my nieces to feel special, that they deserve to be treated well and that all options are open to them. What's the harm?
That's the question Orenstein, journalist and mother of a young daughter, examines in this book. "What's the harm?" What is being directed, marketed, and pushed on girls on a daily basis? The author does research, finds some interesting studies, talks to the people she knows and other moms. As she puts it, "Apparently, I had tapped into something larger than a few dime-store tiaras. Princesses are just a phase, after all. It's not as though girls are still swanning about in their Sleeping Beauty gowns when they leave for college (at least most are not). But they (Princesses) did mark my daughter's first foray into the mainstream culture, the first time the influences on her extended beyond the family. And what was the first thing that culture told her about becoming a girl? Not that she was competent, strong, creative or smart, but that every little girl wants - or should want - to be the Fairest of Them All."
In the end she has just as many questions, if not more, than when she started. That freaked me out. Because anyone who know me knows I want to do it right. Give me a clearly defined set of rules and expectations and I'm good to go. The pressure aimed at girls about how to be a girl is enormous. It took me about a week after finishing the book to calm down and for reason to return. Orenstein looks at this culture from preschool up to middle and junior high school. In the chapter "Pinked!" she looks at when the color pink overwhelmed any and all products related to girls. "Sparkle, Sweetie!" looks at body image and sexualization, including the world of toddler beauty pagents. "Wholesome to Whoresome: The Other Disney Princesses" tries to make sense of the Mileys, Lindsays, and Britneys. How outgrowing thier "innocent" branding is confusing for for them and their fans. Finally, in "Just Between You, Me, and my 622 BFFs" tries to navigate the internet and social media. Things that weren't even an option when I was a teenager, like taking a picture of myself in my bra with my phone and sending it a boy. Not that I couldn't have done this but it would have taken a whole lot more work and it wasn't forwardable to his address book at the press of a few buttons.
Once I resurfaced, I realized, as the author did, that sometimes a princess is just a princess even if the world seems over run with them. That you pick your battles and chose your "teachable moments" and do the best you can. That there is a fine line between deserving to be treated well and being entitled to what ever you want. For me, I think, it comes down to awareness. Maybe looking a little deeper, listening a little harder. And if you are lucky, you get to hear Kitty tell Snowy that the dinosaur needs to put on his sunscreen before he jumps in the lake while playing with the 4 year old.
(Originally posted 01/24/2012)
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